"Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends?" The effects of ADHD on a woman's social life.

I was on the phone with my best friend the other day and we began to discuss in depth how ADHD has effected my day to day life. She paused for a moment and then enthusiastically responded "Huh... and you know I always just thought you were an inconsiderate person". It sounds harsh, it was. But hooray for having a best friend who can call me out and tell it like it is so that I can better understand my shortcomings and begin to bridge the gap.

Uncovering the basic truths of my life with ADHD has led to some not so pleasant realities. Probably one of the sharpest that has come into view is my lousy track record at being a "good" friend. Sometimes my inconsiderate behavior appeared in the form of constant interruptions during conversations, or finding common ground with what my friend was saying and hijacking the conversation all together. When it comes to remembering important dates or simply remembering to keep a promise over the years I have failed miserably at being able to follow through in the way that I would like to, as a result I have many friendships that have fallen by the wayside.

This is a common theme amongst women with ADHD, and also a stark irony if you consider how isolating this disorder is to begin with. The good news is that with effective treatment it is possible to turn the ship around. Don't get me wrong, I have wonderful friends who have gone the distance with me despite my sometimes flaky or not so friendly behavior. That is because ADHD also makes us unique and interesting individuals. So imagine harnessing your new ability to pay attention, remembering to follow through, and overall deepening of your friendships. What would it feel like to expand your safety net of good friends who respond to your ability to show up while still being you?

We will be discussing more about the tools to use in deepening friendships and relationships as I continue to blog. I am curious to know: How has ADHD effected your personal relationships? In your road to recovery what steps have you taken to become a better friend?