Who turned off the lights?

When I was five years old my parents had enough money to send me to a fancy private school that promised the finest education in all the land. Upon taking my entrance exam (an IQ test... yes, the five year old version) my parents were told that I was exceptionally gifted and that I may even posses a mensa IQ level. Everyone was happy for a moment marinating in the afterglow of my infinite potential... and then the other shoe dropped.

Like many of you out there, my potential seemed to slowly evaporate before everyones eyes along with my self worth. I remember the feeling of wanting so desperately to be normal but as hard as I tried it seemed as though I had been locked in a dark room without so much as a flashlight to guide me through the simplest of tasks. Within a matter of weeks in the advent of my kindergarten career I went from the advanced reading group to a special education class separate from my peers. And so began the avalanche of my self worth and my ability to perceive myself as normal in a world of clean rooms and finished homework assignments.

I wish that I could say that as time went on people recognized my differences and were able to help me and let me know that this was not all my fault. But like many women living with ADHD I went undiagnosed and treated for another long and windy twenty five years.

This is a blog to chronicle my journey into discovery and healing of this debilitating and wondrous obstacle that has in so many ways defined the many facets of my life.

The journey has been sad, hilarious, and often times a series of backbends to become the woman I want to be. I hope that this helps some of you on your own journey. I have chosen to believe that ADHD (with all of its many faces of complexity and wackness) also brings an entirely unique universe of gifts and strength that give us the capacity to be creative, unique and exceptionally powerful women.